Naughty Pilgrim Song
By the Empire music team
For many nights I tossed and turned And paced the chilly floor No satisfaction could I find I vowed I'd toss no more I sought to fill my empty void With a man from every nation For better ways to spend my days Than endless ma... ...thematics
My eye fell on a Dawnish knight Who looked so big and strong He sang me songs of courtly love At my window all night long He took me in the gardens fair He rode me to the hunt But his sword, alas, was much to small To fill my empty... ...scabbard
To the wintermark I went To find a man so warm He gave me furs and skins to feel And stroked me till the dawn Sagas he did tell to me, oh, how the glory lingers But his tongue was frozen hard Too cold for... ...telling riddles
The marcher folk, so it's been spoke Are strong in leg and back I found a lovely farmer's boy With ripe plums in his sack His mighty hoe, it swung so low Milk white was his complexion The problem, see, was just that he Could not get an... ...arrangement
A Brass Coast bed, so it's been said Is full of fire and passion So a freeborn man became my plan To get my sausage ration I searched the nation up and down To the city of Siroc But every single man I found Had such a tiny... ...purse
I went one day across the bay To find a merchant wealthy I tracked one down in Holberg town Whose purse was full and healthy In wine and song we dallied long In games of chance and luck But when I said "it's time for bed" He was too drunk to... ...get his boots off
I found a lusty woodcutter In the cold Varushkan snow He kissed me in the mountains high And also down below In his strong arms I plied my charms While hail and sleet fell thick But no magic spell that I could tell Could raise his flaccid... ...banner
I found among the Navarr tribes, A man with painted skin So proud and bold, his hair like gold I thought my luck was in All night and day we naked lay With not a stitch between us But I found out you'd need a scout To find his tiny... ...tent
I had a date with a wizard great In a lonely mountain tower I had great hopes that neath his robes Was a wand of fearsome power But his mighty staff just made me laugh Because for all the lore he knew, There's no book in his library To teach him how to... ...entertain
When no one could fulfil my needs In any Empire nation I even went to see the orcs Such was my desperation They thought me mad, but sent my way A warrior of high ranking His weapon was too big to fit So I was back to... ...embroidery
With a heart like stone I wandered home And found my Chaptermaster I told him how my pilgrimage Had ended in disaster His eyes grew bright - we cuddled tight Until our strength was flagging No more I'll roam, for here at home I get a decent... ...education.