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This song is well known in Temeschwar, the Varushkan city that joined The League. It’s about organised crime, which was once endemic there, and was referred to obliquely as “Uncle Vyig” (“Uncle Vyig had his hands in my pockets”, etc). The song is about how crime takes a cut of everything. It a fun song about terrible things, and is also popular as a song to sing with children in Varushka.

Words by Chris Edwards, tune by Daisy Abbott.

Recording (rough): here

More verses coming soon. Strongly encouraged to make up your own verses, personalising any family feuds etc that are happening on the field.

(sung fairly slow and deep before each verse) When Uncle Vyig comes to dinner...

He takes a bite from every onion Puts his spoon right in your soup And all the poultry that he eats Could fill a chicken coop!

When Uncle Vyig comes to dinner...

He goes through all your clothing And borrows just one boot He helps himself to gloves and hats And the socks right off your foot!

When Uncle Vyig comes to dinner...

He sits right by the fire And leaves you all to freeze His bones are scrawny, thin and cold But he shares with you his sneeze! (ATCHOO!)